Coming to America

Like Borat, Elian Gonzalez, and Eddie Murphy, coming to America for me was a culture shock, a whirlwind tryst through the land of social networking, unabashed consumerism, and Taylor Swift. After more than a year in Africa, I closed my eyes, clicked the heels of my ruby red slippers together and poof...three days of traveling later, I was back in Nebraska to spend Christmas with my family.

There’s no place like home. There’s no place like home. There’s no place like home.

Apart from seeing the most amazing family and friends in the world, it was so lovely to not be gawked at all the time, to walk with a slight air of anonymity, to not constantly be asked for money or told how beautiful I am because I’m so nice and gorda (yep, that means fat), to drink a cold drink with ice, ride in a vehicle with less than 40 people, to sleep without a mosquito net and take a warm shower, to finally see what Justin Bieber looks like, and to sit down in person and chat with those I love and hear about all the wonderful things they are doing without being and feeling a world away.

As amazing as my time home for Christmas was, it went by so fast and I’m afraid it was impossible to see everyone I wanted. Even those I did see, I should probably apologize. You see, most people had such great questions but because I was so easily distracted by all the wonders of America like chocolate chip cookies, pizza, and watching Glee that I feel I may have neglected to really answer the things folks at home wanted to know. While I lament the fact that I no longer have access to Finn, Puck, Sam, Blaine, Mr. Schuester, and especially Mike Chang, I can now focus on providing slightly better answers.

Dear friends, thank you for being so patient with me while I was home and a special thanks to all those who bought my drinks. Here are your top questions…

Q: Why are you not tanner?
A: Well, I am in Africa, not South Beach. In my conservative Muslim town, it is not appropriate to flash your knees. The rest of me I lather up with sunscreen. Two years under this African sun has the potential to turn me into an ad campaign for premature aging or a spokesperson for the Lindsay Lohan Foundation for the Dangers of Over-Tanning.

Q: What do you eat?
A: Lots of starches, rice, corn meal (xima), potatoes, bread, matapa (a traditional Mozambican dish made from cassava leaves). Mozambique has so many delicious tropical fruits and because I am right on the ocean there is a big supply of fish. I can get a kilo of shrimp for around 2 dollars. Forrest Gump and Lieutenant Dan would’ve made a hell of a killing in Mozambique too.

Q: Do you feel safe there?
A: Apparently there was a big 20/20 expose right after I left about the rape/murder of some Peace Corps Volunteers in other African countries, prompting a frantic, worried call from my mother. Okay, so I do know several volunteers who have had their houses robbed, several who have been mugged, and one who was sleeping when men entered her house with machetes, threatened her and then stole most of her belongings. That being said, I have never felt endangered at my site, ever. Maybe it’s so quiet and hard to get to. Maybe I’m subconsciously being extra vigilant, maybe it’s because I have made such nice friends who keep an eye out for me. I don’t know why—maybe it’s pure dumb luck, but all I know is that I sleep peacefully and soundly at night absent of the fear that anyone here would truly try to harm me.

Q: What language do you speak?
A: The national language is Portuguese and yes I have been speaking it for over a year. I can get by just fine and get whatever I need, but I am by no means fluent. However, occasionally someone will ask me if I’m Brazilian or Portuguese, in which case I throw up a fist pump and congratulate myself for fooling someone into thinking I actually know what I’m talking about.

While Portuguese is the national language each region has their own dialect. In Angoche, they speak Koti which is a mix of Swahili, Arabic, and other African languages. I am learning it, but it is hella hard. I’ve got a few phrases up my sleeve to at least get a smile out of some people.

Q: What is the biggest difference between there and here and how much has it changed you?
A: When I was home going through some of our old children’s books to bring back to Africa, I came across Snoopy’s Book of Opposites, and I couldn’t help thinking it was the perfect metaphor for returning to America after 15 months in Mozambique. Not that I necessarily equate myself with Snoopy, it’s just that everything is different. America and Mozambique are like a book of opposites.

One thing I noticed right away was that in America there is such an emphasis and pressure on how one looks. There is such a narrow definition of beauty while in Mozambique so many shapes and sizes are considered beautiful. It was bizarre coming from a place where every day people tell you how beautiful you are (and mean it) to a place where beauty is so painfully sought after and yet so tightly confined to those who fit a particular mold.

I guess another telling experience was when I walked into Target and nearly fainted from the sheer exhaustion of choice. Who knew there were that many flavors of Doritos or brands of deodorant. I guess you could call it reverse culture shock. Everything is bigger, louder, and faster.

But seriously, everything is in excess…the word seriously, food, clothes, Jersey Shore catch-phrases. Sometimes it seemed ridiculous, how much stuff there is, how much we take for granted, and just how easier everything is in America. However, living in a poor country for a short time does not give me the right to judge. Hell, I too lusted after an iPad, watched Jersey Shore with no shame, and indulged in a pedicure the cost of which could feed my neighbor’s family in Mozambique for a week. America is what it is, and while I won’t ever be able to see it with the same eyes, that doesn’t mean I should see it with eyes full of ridicule and self-righteousness.

Being in Africa has taught me to love my country, not to resent its frailties.

Q: How do you feel about going back?
A: Granted, I am now back in Mozambique so my answer is circumstantial and anachronistic at best. Be that as it may, I would not have exchanged going home for the world. Seeing my family and friends not only revitalized me but sent me away filled with words of encouragement and confidence disproportionate to my actual abilities. I love being home with those I love. Sometimes I miss them so much it hurts.

But, I have unfinished business, and more to learn and share, and friends in Mozambique who love me too. So if ruby red slippers take me home to my family, I guess it would be three clicks of my rugged sandals that take me back to Africa. Here we go then...

There’s no place like Mozambique. There’s no place like Mozambique. There’s no place like Mozambique.